I have on occasion heard explanatory comments about people who were sick: “She holds her anger inside.” “He has a poor attitude.” “She doesn’t exercise correctly (or read the right books, or meditate diligently, or . . .).” Of course any number of things may contribute to poor health. But I suspect that the implication is that if these people had done everything right, they wouldn’t be sick. And that we can’t say.
Along the same line, in the Gospel of John, the disciples of Jesus point out a man born blind and ask, “Who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?” (John 9). Jesus gives a reply that surprises them: “Neither he nor his parents sinned: but that the works of God might be made manifest in him.” Then Jesus heals the blind man.
I suppose that people have been asking the reason for suffering ever since human beings have been able to reflect on the human condition. Jesus himself never does answer the question of where suffering comes from — but he does give a meaning to it, not only by his answer to the disciples, but also and especially by his own death and resurrection. Although we know God doesn’t desire pain for us, God does use our pain for good in our own lives and for the bringing to fulfillment of the reign of God on earth.
Now I don’t understand this any more than the disciples of Jesus did. But what it says to me is that pain is not wasted. Mine is not wasted and yours is not wasted, any more than the pain of Jesus was wasted. The suffering of Jesus became redemptive for the whole world, and through our union with Jesus, ours becomes redemptive also. We are not called to seek out pain in our lives, of course. Jesus did not seek pain in his own life. We are called to alleviate pain — to bring an end to suffering where that is possible. We are to heal the sick, feed the hungry, comfort those who mourn, eliminate oppression. And where it is not possible to end suffering, either in our lives or in the lives of others, we can still trust that God is working in it to bring about good.
“We know that in everything God works for good with those who love him, who are called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8:28)